Black coffee is not Bad
but it feels like a punishment.
I will continue to put milk in my coffee
on days that I feel I deserve it.
When I need to be Bitter
I will have it black.
Today I deserve
beige
New Adult Mystery and Adventure Novelist in Progress
Black coffee is not Bad
but it feels like a punishment.
I will continue to put milk in my coffee
on days that I feel I deserve it.
When I need to be Bitter
I will have it black.
Today I deserve
beige
I want to smile when it rains
I want to answer when you call.
I don’t want to live in fear,
it’ll be the death of me
but where do we go from here?
I’m trying,
but I’m tired of trying
and getting no results.
I want to be brave
like I was when I was ten.
I want to feel the wind against my skin
and not cower away.
I want to feel
again
I’m done with this complacency,
this everlasting loneliness.
it’s like they turned the lights out
and I can’t find the switch.
I want to be brave
for myself
so I can say I beat the demons in my head
I don’t want to be brave
for anyone else
because if I’m doing this for you
and you leave
what’s left to fight for?
I want to be strong
for myself
so I can look back
and smile when it rains.
You were a near miss
we got so close to touching
but never quite cared enough
and we tell ourselves
we wouldn’t have worked anyway
but for a minute there
I thought we would collide
We could’ve been
as bright
and as beautiful
as a meteor shower
but our orbits never crossed
I’m not lonely,
I just miss you
like I miss a hurricane.
You leave me a wreck
and I heard them talking
of fallen trees and branches
I can’t help but think
I lost some, too.
I didn’t think I
could miss a disaster
but love and hate
often get mistaken.
I should’ve known
when you said you
preferred the rain
because after you left
all I did was rain.
I could’ve filled the Atlantic
with all the rain inside me.
You triggered a storm in me,
now all I do is tread water.
There is a roaring ocean inside me.
It does let up from time to time,
but there are days I am left
shipwrecked and stranded.
It’s hard to see how it’ll all be okay
when I’m marooned on an island
in the ocean inside my chest,
but on I press
because what other option is there?
My heart’s got thorns
and with every word you say
the thorns tighten and scratch.
Some day these thorns will break me
and I’m not sure what happens after.
Defeat?
Or resurrection?