I sip my coffee
I don’t chug
I like the bitter taste
it gets better with age
and someday I’ll take it black
that’s when you’ll know
I’ve gone bitter like the rest.
New Adult Mystery and Adventure Novelist in Progress
I sip my coffee
I don’t chug
I like the bitter taste
it gets better with age
and someday I’ll take it black
that’s when you’ll know
I’ve gone bitter like the rest.
There will always be a void
deep inside my chest
there’s one for you
and all the others who’ve left
and I want to believe
that someday these voids will be filled
but it’s true what they say
that everyone leaves
and sometimes they come back
but sometimes when they do
they don’t do it because they missed you
or your jokes or your stories
they missed the attention you gave them.
I will write your name over and over
until it does not hurt anymore
and if that takes a thousand pages
at least it will be over.
and I will forgive you someday
but first I have to forgive myself
and sure, I’ve learned to love myself
but it’s still fresh
it started when I left
I dream of falling out of love with you
but I haven’t stopped
falling for you
to start
ending this.
and if I ever
find someone better for me
know that I’m lying
And I didn’t think
I could feel so strongly
but then I met you
and I wasn’t bitter
anymore
I should move
across the country
just to learn what it means
to be alone
because I can’t take this
constant struggle
between being home
and being happy
and I’m not quite sure
I remember
what it feels like
without this weight
buried deep inside my chest
I would love you despite your feelings
Leave so I can love you harder
Come back to a warm bed
but it’s not mine
like it once was
you’re not mine
like you once were
and that’s fine
I love you still the same
I miss the ocean
and I miss the mountains, too
I never thought after all this time
I’d be missing you like I do.
But I missed the smell of spring
and that came back as always,
and I know someday you’ll miss me, too,
and it puts me in a haze.
It was warm
I felt whole
you smiled at me
and I knew
I’d be alright.
We’d get through winter
and all its cold nights
and we already got through February
and for some reason
it’s warm today
and we’re sitting outside
drinking pink lemonade
like it’s summer already
and you look at me
and you smile
and I smile, too
and we know
we’re exactly where we should be.
It’s 5 am
the rain is pouring
coming down heavy
enveloping my sadness
as I lay here
unable to sleep
and I wonder
I wonder what you’re doing
I know you were always
one to be up at this hour.
And I feel closer to you
than I ever did when we
were together.
Maybe it’s better this way
maybe I’m happier like this:
love,
but from a distance.
You can’t hurt me from here.