missing

I miss the ocean

and I miss the mountains, too

I never thought after all this time

I’d be missing you like I do.

But I missed the smell of spring

and that came back as always,

and I know someday you’ll miss me, too,

and it puts me in a haze.

and I knew I’d be alright

It was warm

I felt whole

you smiled at me

and I knew

I’d be alright.

We’d get through winter

and all its cold nights

and we already got through February

and for some reason

it’s warm today

and we’re sitting outside

drinking pink lemonade

like it’s summer already

and you look at me

and you smile

and I smile, too

and we know

we’re exactly where we should be.

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relax

The window open,

a newly cleaned room,

a cup of tea

cooling on the windowsill.

With nothing left to do today,

I relax and enjoy

the smell of nature,

the sunshine peeking in,

my cup of tea,

and a good book.

and I thought it was funny

and I thought it was funny at the time

the way you tore down everything I built

and I remember I laughed

when I caught you in yet another lie

and I remember thinking

I’d be better with you in my life

well

then why am I thriving now?

storms

I’m not lonely,

I just miss you

like I miss a hurricane.

You leave me a wreck

and I heard them talking

of fallen trees and branches

I can’t help but think

I lost some, too.

I didn’t think I

could miss a disaster

but love and hate

often get mistaken.

Not lonely, just alone

I stood alone in the middle of a crowd,

knowing no one around me, I felt safe.

As if for some reason, because I knew

no one, I couldn’t be harmed. Because

everyone was busy doing their own thing

and what was I but another passerby.

Still I stood there, and I watched busy

faces go around me, I couldn’t help but

smile. I was not going to be spoken to

by anyone. I was in this alone and I was

here alone, I didn’t have to worry about

what to say to people, or what they’d say

to me. Because no one was going to talk

to me and that was the beauty of this. No

one even cared. No one cared that I stood

there in the way, no one cared that I was

smiling at no one and at everyone. No one

cared. And I found comfort in that. It was

not a sad comfort, it was a relief. I was

free.

When You Left

When you left

I swear the world caved in

or maybe that was

my heart.

Either way, you left,

I rebuilt myself,

and I’m only getting better.

Every time I think of you

and all you put me through,

I can’t help but smile

that I never have to deal

with you again.

Mountains

Lay on a rock

by the mountains

after a long hike

it’s soothing at first

but then begins to hurt

much like you did.

Storm

I should’ve known

when you said you

preferred the rain

because after you left

all I did was rain.

I could’ve filled the Atlantic

with all the rain inside me.

You triggered a storm in me,

now all I do is tread water.

Summer

I miss my carefree nature,

I miss the wind at my back,

I miss the way the sun beams glowed

early summer mornings.

I miss watching the sunrise

from my bedroom window,

and I miss watching the sunset

on the beach with the dog.

I miss the simplicity,

and how I knew it’d all be fine.

Sometimes winter gets so cold,

I fear I’ve gone as bitter as the wind.

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