Shipwrecked

There is a roaring ocean inside me.

It does let up from time to time,

but there are days I am left

shipwrecked and stranded.

It’s hard to see how it’ll all be okay

when I’m marooned on an island

in the ocean inside my chest,

but on I press

because what other option is there?


Easy

It was hard for a while

for a long, long while

then it was easy.

But it wasn’t that easy

to get to Easy.

It took years

long, insufferable years,

exhaustion, but persevering

and then it was easy.

The smile wasn’t

forced

anymore.

And there’s still bad days

there will always be bad days

but they don’t seem so bad

when I know

the good days will be back.


You are the moon

It is romantic?

or am I pathetic?

I think you’re handsome,

but what do I know?

I’m young and I’m dumb

sitting here by the ocean

feeling like a fleck of sand

when you are the dunes.

I am the tide,

you are the moon;

I am nothing without you.

Tea and Nostalgia

Tea in the afternoon,

hard at work on this or that

and the sun shines through the window, cracked.

Tea on the windowsill,

a gentle breeze cools the drink.

It’s not as cold as it’s been lately

and the smell of fresh air

brings a sense of nostalgia

for when I had no troubles,

spending all my time running around outside.

I have this obsession with nostalgia

and I think it’s because I’m so eternally exhausted

and I miss the feeling

of optimism and pure delight

I only truly had as a child.

I’m only 22

but I’ve been through enough

to deserve this cup of tea

and a moment of clarity.

Thursday Sunsets

The sun set

on a Thursday,

not a cloud in the sky,

just a hand in mind

and smiles on our faces.

Any burnout or exhaustion

fades away with the sunlight.

We’re left illuminated by the moon

and the stars in the sky.

Did you know that the moon

only shimmers up there for you?


Nostalgia

I haven’t felt a single thing

and I worry I never will again.

What happened?

I used to be so lively,

nowadays I’d rather sit at home

than be with loved ones.

What happened?

It’s like a part of me died when you left.

I knew it would happen;

I knew from the start

and I did nothing to stop it.

What happened?

What happened to the person I once was?

I have a fondness for things from before,

things like games and music and pop culture

because it’s the only thing

that brings me closer

to who I was

before.


Small Talk

The grass turned green

and the snow melted;

hope came back.

Echoes of strangers saying

“So nice out today,”

followed by another stranger’s

“enjoy it if you can.”

I smile and agree,

I always hated small talk, though.

“Medium iced mocha”

I tell the barista.

“Iced, good choice.”

“So nice out today.”

I pay and take my coffee

to a table in the corner.

If I take my notebook out,

they won’t talk to me.

But is that what I want?

That’s what my anxiety tells me,

but I don’t mind a little small talk

if it leads to a real conversation.

But it always starts with the same

“So nice out today, huh?”