Snowfall When I’ve Got No Plans

Snow has been falling for almost an hour now. I awoke to see a dusting, but now it’s nearly up to my knees. I’ve got nowhere to be, though, and I’m watching comfortably from the warmth of my blanket and a cup of tea. Music plays softly from my speaker; I serenely watch the snow fall. Hours pass and the snow settles at waist level. Sighing, I appreciate this week off from work I’ve taken.

Anxiety

I have become

Nothing

Attempting to become

Less nervous.

But now I don’t think

I don’t speak;

I am nothing.

I worry

For my future

But that just keeps the fire burning.

Is there an end?

Or am I the end?

Monument Pier (Part One)

Jakey had enough. The relentless screaming matches followed by forced tears and attempted apologies from his parents had finally broken him. He took nothing but the clothes on his back as he marched determinedly towards Monument Pier. 

It was late, Jakey was unsure the exact time, but the sun had already set. The only light source was the streetlamps intermittently illuminating the sidewalk. He was lucky, well, lucky was one way of putting it, to live only a mile from Monument Pier. Lucky because that was his escape, he felt free at the pier. He could sit with his legs dangling off the edge of the boardwalk and listen to the tide push and pull, the commotion of Boston Harbor echoing softly. The occasional horn of a boat leaving the harbor would carry down towards Monument Pier and Jakey would daydream about what the boat had planned. Were they a rescue boat out to save someone drowning? Or were they a transportation boat, just making their rounds? 

Jakey liked to imagine it was pirates. He was always fascinated with pirates. He had his own spin, though. They were never bad pirates. They didn’t steal or loot or kill, they just lived at sea. He was always interested in pirates, ever since he was a child. Before his father turned to alcoholism and was forced to retire, he was a ship captain for the Monument Pier Security. He would tell Jakey about the criminals they caught and Jakey would imagine they were pirates because he was 10 and what other criminals are out at sea besides pirates? Jakey loved hearing his father’s stories and he wished nothing more than to be able to hear one again, but the most his father does now is complain about the TV not working or the alleged rude cashier at the liquor store. 

His father was lucky enough to have the savings to retire, Jakey was too young to understand how hard that is for people nowadays. His father had been in the Marines for ten years before being ship captain, he was discharged when Jakey was 5 and struggled a lot. That was when the yelling started. 

Jakey made it to the pier, fighting off tears along the way. His head swimming with angry thoughts and suicidal ideations as he sat down at the end of the dock. A few fishing boats lined the dock, Jakey wished he brought his phone so he would know when to expect the fishermen. The last thing he wanted was to be around anyone, never mind his nosy, upbeat fishermen neighbors. 

The dock was wooden and uneven, various nails sticking up and loose boards throughout. Jakey knew sitting here for too long would get uncomfortable, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go. The coffeeshop he frequents closed at sunset and this was the only place he could ever truly be alone. 

He sat and listened to the waves crashing, looking out at the city skyline. It was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. The city at night was incredible. Almost enough to stop the recurring thought in his head that uttered those two words repetitively. 

“Jump in, jump in, jump in,” his depression echoed. 

“Stop,” He spoke, tears welling up.

“Jump in,” It didn’t even sound like his own thought, as though coming from a demon possessing his body with strictly bad intentions. 

“I can’t.” His voice cracked, mouth going dry.

“You must. It is the only option.” The voice hissed. He couldn’t argue any more, his voice of reason gone, all he could think of was how cold would the water be? And his clothes would get all wet. Should he take his shoes off first?

It seemed to happen in slow motion. Effortlessly, like he was being dragged in by an invisible force. Before he knew it, he was completely immersed. He didn’t even take his shoes off.

LaurenWritesToo blog and life update

Hey, everyone! I’ve never made a real ~blog post~ here, and since this is technically a blog, I figured I’d start doing that every now and then.

I’ve been focusing a lot of my free time on writing, and with my job I don’t have a ton of free time. Plus, I’ll be going back to college starting in May, which gives me even less free time. I’ve also been dedicating a big block of my time to writing a book! I’ll get more into that later in this update, but it’s taking up a big portion of my time, so I thought my schedule needed some tweaking.

So, I’ve had this blog for about two months now, and I’ve been thinking a lot about where I want to go with it moving forward. I’ve been writing poems and short stories twice a week, and I’m thinking I want to change that up a little bit. Though I love the short stories, they take a while to make and I find it difficult with my job, school starting soon, and writing my book to make quality short stories on a weekly basis. So, I’ve decided to switch it to poems on Saturdays, a blog post on Wednesdays and whenever they’re ready, a short story on Wednesdays to replace the blog post.

So, my book:

I started writing it in January and the synopsis is a 21 year old girl who’s been baking her whole life, finally gets a job at a real bakery. It’s a slice-of-life story of her getting a crush on her coworker while also trying to rise to the rank of Head Baker. There’s ups and downs but ultimately it all comes down to one summer’s night. It is set on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, where I’ve lived my whole life.

I’ll post snippets from it from time to time, not necessarily straight from the story; sometimes it’ll just be writing exercises so I can further understand the characters.

If this story sounds interesting to you, let me know!